You may have seen on Facebook all the thankful posts this month. I see that is finally time for me to join the bandwagon. But I can't do it on FB, because I need time to get a grip and back off from FB for awhile. It's been my lifesaver these last few months, yes, but I think I need to more fully immerse myself where Heavenly Father has planted me right now. Sorry for all the mixed metaphors.
I promise I will get to the thankful part.
So, I took myself on a very long walk tonight. I needed some thinking time.
Have you ever had one of those Emma moments, where you think you are going along all fine and dandy and then you do something really stupid, and suddenly you find the love of your life saying, "Badly done, Emma. Badly done!"? Yeah, well, I had one of those moments today. Actually, it stretched into hours where I became distracted, fidgety, and really disgusted with myself.
For the record, Bob did not see fit to chastise me. But I am referring to my Heavenly Father, who saw fit to send me a message. And that's what I'm thankful for today: a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to correct me when I need it. Sometimes He is able to do it gently. And sometimes I need to be thwacked over the head with a 2X4. Good thing He knows what's best.
So now I have the opportunity to evaluate and re-evaluate my thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, and then determine what I need to change and do and be. Painful, yes. Worth it, definitely! I am thankful for a gospel that preaches repentance, that teaches us that Heavenly Father is a loving Father and when we make mistakes, he gives us room to improve and prove ourselves (again ... and again), to grow and progress, even when we screw up.
I am thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, which fills the gap between me and heaven that I can't fill myself because I am a human being and perfection isn't my strong suit. And I'm grateful that by that same power, He can heal the hurts I've inflicted on others when I've done all I can do to fix my mistakes and still can't repair the damage. I pray that this is the case, since heaven knows I've hurt too many people in this life.
Now to do better in the immediate future....
Well said - as another child of Heavenly Father's that needs the 2x4 treatment I understand where you're coming from. Don't be too hard on yourself - remember that we're heavenly spirits having an earthly experience and it's hard sometimes.
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