Corona Chronicles

I'm participating in a little health challenge thingy, and we needed to write an entry in our very own "Corona Chronicles" this week as a part of a journaling challenge. I like mine so much I decided to put it here.

May 5, 2020

Tracy

Coronavirus quarantine 2020 has been and done many things for me and my family. 

I’m gonna be honest. I am a bit of an introvert. I generally prefer one-on-one personal interactions with others over any form of multi-person interaction. So staying at home rarely bothers me, even with the looming anxiety of a potentially deadly pandemic. I enjoy the less frantic pace of life. My heart smiles to see my little ones play with each other outside for hours on end. I love that my teenage sons and I have time to play games or binge watch TV shows and movie marathons together. Somehow bedtime is less of a fight each night, and getting up in the morning isn’t a battle either.  And I am grateful.

It isn’t sunshine and roses all the time. There is more warfare over online assignments than there ever was over school before the shutdowns. Sometimes the part of me that longs for alone-ness wants to throw a tantrum over the complete lack of alone-ness in our home right now. Little ones and big ones get bored. On some days, it feels like 12 hours have gone by since sunrise and it’s only noon—NOON!!! In general, these are temporary problems, and not very big ones at that. And I am grateful.

Once I quit obsessing over the news and social media, and I began to bounce back from that little self-inflicted, depression-inducing state, I am left with time to ponder whatever occurs to me.

What I’m currently attempting to puzzle through is the "sandwich generation.” Or, more accurately, how I’m going to survive being a part of it. My husband and I are both in our 40s. We have 7 children, 5 of whom are still at home. The youngest is 4 years old. My husband’s aging mother moved in with us about 7 years ago and will likely live with us permanently. That puts us squarely in the middle of sandwiching—supporting children who are at varying degrees of independence whilst dealing with the ever-increasing needs of a rising senior citizen.

On most days, usually by mid-morning, I decide sandwiching is not something I am cut out for.  I frequently wonder what the freak we were thinking in having so many kids and inviting one of our mothers, bless both their hearts, to live with us 24/7, even though we were prompted to invite each and every one of these people into our home. Which is all fine and dandy, but the daily reality remains. Before quarantine, I didn’t think about it very often (not enough time while I was running around to put out one fire and then the next?), but now it has become an omnipresent issue, and not just for me.

I am a “natural man” working on becoming a saint. That means that I know I haven’t reached grateful for this particular stage in my life yet, but I’m working on it … on most days anyway.

Under these circumstances, “self-care” is a word that could potentially initiate hysterical laughter on my part. Social media would have me believe that I should now have much more time for self-care and self-improvement. Again: laughable in my present reality.

But. 

King Limhi’s words always come around to me in times likes these: “yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made” (Mosiah 7:18). It’s the story of my life. Oh, make no mistake, before I decide the struggle must still be made, there is much weeping and wailing and gnashing of my teeth, because again, this natural man hasn’t achieved sainthood yet.

But.

This is why I continue to participate in health challenges like this one, even knowing that with 8 dependents and 2 chronic diseases of my own and no sainthood on the near horizon, perfection is most definitely a long shot. I’m not going to win the gold medal, but I am going to do what I can, give myself grace for the rest, and rely on the Savior’s grace most of all. My little steps are something my Savior can make into something great. There is still an effectual struggle to be made, and right now coronavirus has given me the gift of time to tackle it. And for that I am grateful.

Legacy

The woman on the lower left in the picture below is Eliza Mabel Key Siglinger. She is my first cousin three times removed. That means that while she and I are parts of different generations, we are descended from the same common ancestors. In this case, her maternal grandparents are my great-great-great-grandparents on my father's side of the family.

Miss Mabel, as we would have called her when we lived in the Deep South, has been much on my mind these last few weeks. She died about 101 years ago, in the town where I was born, in the midst of the great influenza pandemic of WWI. She had only been married a few months when her new husband was called to serve in the war, and she then returned to the nursing practice she had left at her marriage. She died at the age of 25, when they had been married 11 months.

Whether she would have contracted influenza if she had not returned to work is a mystery. But she did return to nursing patients, and in doing so, gave her life.

It's a lot to think about in the age of Coronavirus and COVID-19. My heart is full for those of our current generations who, under similar circumstances, are putting their lives at risk daily to serve the people around them. It's scary right now, but so many's peoples good hearts are our greatest strength, and I have a lot of faith in that. Thank you!

And thank you, Miss Mabel! You are not forgotten; you are not just another number in the death tally.  Your sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. I think of you often, and hope to meet you someday.

Many thanks to my mother, my grandmother, and my great-aunt Bessie for preserving these newspaper clippings for so many years.

FYI

Monopoly is not the family destroyer of choice in our household. I haven't forgiven my mother in law yet. But Alaska kept me safe for longer than I thought it would.

Because ... Play-doh & Catan (Duh)

Class of 2019?

I don't think Lizzi cared for Caleb taking over her graduation pictures.

2

Grand Family

Even Hannah was there....

From Grammy's Eye

I totally ripped off all of Grammy's pictures from their visit here, because hello, fun!!

Mom's Camera Roll

I haven't posted in several days, but I have been taking pictures, so this post will be heavy on the ... erm, photography.

Madeline's big thing right now is being a big kid like all the older brothers and sisters. Lucky thing Sariah is a reader now and likes to read to her.

Mom convinced Nana to make chocolate chip cookie dough. Madeline got to reap the rewards, and she was a very happy camper. :)

Big brothers are pretty amazing, too!

Isn't she so very grown up?! She helped carry the groceries in!

Now, if you want to talk about a toddler's dream come true: the Nissan dealership here in town. For reals, people! A dedicated children's room with kid-sized chairs, a lot of toys (not just one little obligatory thing), and m&m cookies. She didn't actually want to leave....

But if the Nissan dealership isn't available? Hello, goggles!

The photo credit on this one goes to Sariah. She's been experimenting with the iPad. She is also responsible for the following pictures as well.

We've been practicing spatial reasoning with pattern blocks. What? You can learn while you play????

One of Sariah's creations.

Beauty

This is my mom, Patricia. Isn't she beautiful?

When I was a little girl, I didn't think she was beautiful. I didn't think she was ugly. She was just...you know...my mom. And then one day, I just realized: "My mom is beautiful."

It was a really awesome realization because my whole life I had been told I looked just like my mother. So voila! Obviously now I was beautiful, too. :)

Every time I think about the family I was born into, I am grateful for them, and for my mom especially. I hit the jackpot of families, I promise. My brother and I were loved and wanted and taught and disciplined. We were expected to grow up and be independent and competent, functioning members of society. Those expectations were a gift.

My mom's example was a gift as well. She was my Girl Scout leader for years. Now that I am an adult and a Cubmaster, I realize how much of a sacrifice that must have been, especially since she was freaking awesome. My standards for my kids' scouting experiences are high indeed because their experiences must measure up to what my mom provided for me. It's not often we get that. And when we do, I am thankful for my mom all over again.

Mom was the homeroom mom--over and over again. She encouraged me to be smart, and taught me that I could solve problems and do whatever I needed to do. She taught me that I had immense value besides what other people thought of me. She taught me that family matters. She taught me that the past matters. She taught me that the future matters.

When I was 16, she put me on a plane to the crumbling USSR for three weeks, in the days when there was no internet or texting or cheap foreign phone calls, so that I could have a life experience.

When I was a few days shy of 18, she left me at college three hours away, so that I could have a life experience. And she sent me chocolate while I was away. Hello? True love!!!

When I was 20, she watched me get married very young and start having babies, because she had taught me to lead my own life and to have my own life experiences...even though I'm pretty sure she thought I had lost my every-lovin' mind. And she celebrated with us.

Now if you know me or Mom, you probably know that sometimes our relationship can be strained. We have some vastly differing viewpoints on life, and we have different types of personalities. Sometimes little memes go around Facebook that say something like, "If I turn out to be half the mother my own mom was, I'll be lucky." I usually roll my eyes, something I started perfecting before I became a teenager and which I haven't given up yet, and sniff to myself, "Whatever! Who wants to live in a perfectly organized and clean house with two reasonably well-behaved children, a successful home business, and a husband who works hard and adores you?"

Yeah, do you see my problem here?

High standards.

Because my mom is awesome. When she was my whole world, she was strong and confident and loving and farsighted enough to sacrifice what she may have needed or wanted personally for what I would need in the future. See? Awesome! 

So...because eye-rolling at other people's expense usually leads to an eye-opening dose of humility is a true story: If I turn out to be half the mother my own mom was, my kids and I will be lucky indeed.

I love you, Mom. I wish my tween and teen-aged brain hadn't wasted so much time not appreciating you enough. You are my example every day, and I'm so thankful for that.

This is my mom, Patricia. Isn't she beautiful!?

Still Thanksgiving Here

I'm cleaning off my desk (again, sigh), and found Sam and Sariah's masterpieces from Thanksgiving, and now they will be documented here forever, haha. I love these two little ones!

by Sam

by Sam

by Sariah

by Sariah

More Pics from September