Christmas 2016

We are blessed.

Christmas Eve

Getting ready for Christmas. That's Joseph and Mary and baby Jesus while Daddy reads Luke 2.

Lazy Day

There are a lot of things I should have been doing today. But I didn't do them.

Bob fixed the leak in our roof. So that's good.

We finished a puzzle. But it appears that Madeline has absconded with one of the pieces. Dang it.

Tomorrow is clean the house day. Good times.

Gingerbread

It was a little chaotic, a lot of sugar, a bunch of mess, and a lot of fun. One of our favorite holiday traditions.

Helper

When you are determined to help your big brother put your toys away but he wants to do it himself.

Another Reader

Sam read me this whole book tonight!! He's coming along quite nicely. 😍📚

Baby Steps

I was supposed to post this last night. But I was tired and went to sleep instead. On Friday night, Lizzi needed to use the suburban. But it was out of gas. So we told her to fill it up. People, she drives an electric car. So between her and her two friends they had grand total experience of three fill ups. Three. They took pictures to commemorate the event. Especially that they were sooooooo cold. 🙄

Party On

So we let the littles--Sam and Sariah--have a Christmas party tonight since they are homeschooled and don't get to do that with friends very often. The guest list kept multiplying this week.

Let me preface this by pointing out that I've had a very long and stressful week. It started on Monday when I cried at the YMCA, and then there was Tuesday when I got really frustrated about my dumb thyroid, and then there was today. I was so stressed out by two hours pre-party, that when a collections lady called about my adult daughter's hospital bills (which we've been arguing about for MONTHS), she listened to me recite my daughter's identifying information, and then said, "You know, I'm not sure now is a good time to talk to you. Would you like me to call you back next week?" Yeah, the collections lady. Guess I sounded slightly hysterical. And when the lady calls back (again) next week, I will have to apologize. Get in line, lady. It's been one of those weeks....

Anyway, the party was pretty fun. As crazy as it sometimes makes me feel to have small people following me around 24/7, I still enjoy children and like to be with them. Once I got past being humbled because I was unable to get my house clean to my satisfaction (even though Bob made a very valiant effort while I was completely melting down AND he was being assisted by the Toddler Tornado), I really enjoyed being with these little ones and being a part of their joy.

And by the way, I'm super thankful for Caleb and Lizzi and their three friends for essentially running the entertainment of the party. I owe them...something. I hope it doesn't cost money.

I didn't get any pictures of the party itself. But I did get pictures of the aftermath.

One of the moms said, "They've destroyed your house!"

I hear you all laughing, you know.

What? You don't think this is any different than my regular housekeeping? I know. It's an improvement.

Dang, I hate it when you're right. ;)

Also...Madeline thinks the blanket Grammy sent Sam should have been hers. She kept trying to pull it from Sam while she screamed at him tonight. We hunted down the one Grammy made for her, and then she was somewhat mollified.

A Little of This and That

Sam got a box from Grammy today. He was so excited! He's been waiting for this one!

Sariah has been teaching herself to make balloon animals. She took this on all by herself. She hopes to have one made for every guest at her and Sam's Christmas party tomorrow evening. How this little girl thinks she isn't smart is completely beyond me.

Madeline at the library. She was so happy to sit like Mommy and read a book at the table. When Mommy went to help Sariah find a book, Madeline about came unglued and dragged Mommy back by her pant legs, lol.

Because how else would you eat refried beans and queso? With a crayon. Obviously.

Brave

This is the face of a girl who conquered something she was afraid to do. The activity day girls were asked to speak at their recognition night about things they did over the last year. Sariah swore up and down that she wouldn't do it...and then she did. Way cool!

It Was a Day...

Here is Madeline sleeping at my awesome toddler whisperer's house. I had a doctor's appointment today way up in Atlanta, and so I needed help with the littles.

I'm not sure my friend knows exactly how grateful I am for her service to us today. It's not just that I could go to an appointment. It's that I know she loves my little ones, even when they are CRAZY, and that she could give me this time to myself. My car ride was sooooo quiet, and that's sooooo cool. Thanks, friend!

The appointment was up by Bob's work so I went to visit him for lunch. Fun! I only got myself lost and turned around in north Atlanta a coupla times....

My doctor appointment is giving me fits. It was to get a second opinion about my thyroid issues and the pesky nodule in my thyroid. She told me she sees surgery in my future, just like the first endocrinologist did. That's a bummer.

Ward Party

Last night was our ward (congregation) Christmas party. We spent a lot of time keeping track of Miss Madeline. She figured out how to open Hershey kisses, which were part of the table centerpieces. When all of the kisses on our table "disappeared," she began visiting other tables, because hey, she's so cute, nobody would tell her no.

Biggest Fan

Here's a better picture of Bob with his #1 fan. Can you tell how much she loves him?!

Reindeer Games

Lizzi has too much fun with Snapchat. But she thought this was a good Christmassy kind of a post. So here we are. I hope her father forgives her sometime.

Toothless

The hole in this little man's mouth keeps getting bigger and bigger. Pretty soon he won't have any teeth at all, lol.

Be Still, My Heart

Today at the library, Sariah told the librarian, "I am a reader." This is amazing progress for my girl, and of course, made this particular mama smile, too. 😍 📚

Allergies

Surprise! My children have allergies.

Ok. It's not really surprising. I have seasonal allergies, and Bob's allergic to everything.

Caleb got a(nother) bad case of hives back in September, and they referred him out to an allergist, because they were afraid he might be allergic to peanuts. He's probably not, or so we learned today. But he's massively allergic to grass. Again, not really a big surprise.

But here he is being thrilled with me that they scratched him 50 times and poked him with a needle 10 times and he must give them his blood tomorrow. Aren't I a fun mom?

Also, Sam wanted everyone to see his awesome tower!

Weaknesses Become Strengths

For #LIGHTtheWORLD today, I shared another of my favorite scriptures on Facebook. Ether 12:27.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

I know I've seen this in my life repeatedly. My weaknesses are opportunities to learn (when I can remember to think of them that way, lol). And usually what I learn takes me places I never imagined I could go. My depression teaches me compassion and endurance. My struggles to be consistent teach me the value in persistence. My chronic health issues teach me to accept help sometimes ... and they teach me to offer help to others as well. I guess my weaknesses tend to give me a heart to help others. That's not a bad thing. :)

'Tis the Season

We had a lot to deal with today. It wouldn't have been nearly so stressful if I hadn't forgotten tonight was the cookie exchange for Girl Scouts. So here's what our day was about, lol. I suppose it's not the worst thing that could have happened to us....

Sunday Thoughts

I am loving all the rain. I am a child of the desert. I love the rain.

I am hating this cold that many in our family, including me, have.

#LIGHTtheWORLD today was about worshiping God. Unfortunately, I didn't get to go to my church meetings. Sad. So my goal for the month will be to kneel in prayer every day. I think I pray every day, because I kind of have a running conversation with Heavenly Father going on in my mind. But taking the time to kneel and show reverence and respect is pretty important, so that's what I'm going to work on.

Tomorrow's challenge is to help care for the sick. We asked the kids whom they thought we should help. They said, "Us." Little punks. Still working on how to help the sick without giving our germs to them. :)

My Light in the Darkness

I haven't written about depression in awhile. There are several reasons for this.

Last fall, over a year ago, a friend came to me to offer comfort after a series of my frustrated Facebook posts about various things. And my pride got the better of me. I wanted people to see that my life is positive, too, and that there are lots of good things in my days.

But the flip side of that is that I stopped posting entirely about my struggles. On some days, that's a good thing, because it doesn't help to dwell on the hard things. On some days, that's a bad thing because my friends don't see that someone else they love struggles with things, too. People don't know that someone they know and love is in the process of overcoming something difficult, and that's a very isolating feeling. Does that make any sense? Nobody should ever feel alone.

The other reason I haven't talked depression in awhile is that it doesn't feel like the biggest struggle in my life right now. When I look at things in detail, it probably really is the biggest struggle, but it doesn't manifest itself like it used to, and I've learned some really awesome coping skills.

My depression still really is with me all the time. On some level, my body and my mind and my heart know this. At my physical this week, my doctor suggested that maybe we could try lowering my medication dose. My immediate reaction was, "Noooooooo!" I like being happy. I like loving life even through the hard times. I like knowing that hard things can be managed. And I know that without my medication--because I've tried it--those things aren't my reality.

But I also realized that one of my favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon has become one of my realities. In the book of Mosiah, a prophet named Alma and his people find themselves in bondage to another people. So I don't feel like my bondage is to another people; I feel like my bondage is to the whacked-out chemicals in my brain. Think of that as you read these verses.

13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

 14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

 15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord. (Mosiah 24:13-15)

I don't think that I've been delivered from my "bondage" of depression (yet! because I firmly believe it will come eventually), but I do feel that over the last 6-7 years especially the Lord has made my burden seem light, that sometimes I cannot even feel the burden of depression on my shoulders, even though from time to time I am reminded that it is still there. He has strengthened me to bear this burden--taught me coping skills, led me to medication, surrounded me with people who love me and encourage me and support me.

So, when I saw on my #LIGHTtheWORLD advent calendar that today was about helping other people to see, I immediately thought of what I needed to see in the darkness that was my world, of what the Savior and my Heavenly Father helped me to see in that terrible darkness of depression.

I don't want people to think my life is perfect. I don't want people to think my life is miserable. I want people to know that I have struggles but my God is helping me to overcome them through many small and simple means, and that through that, I have great joy which once I never thought possible.

Beauty

This is my mom, Patricia. Isn't she beautiful?

When I was a little girl, I didn't think she was beautiful. I didn't think she was ugly. She was just...you know...my mom. And then one day, I just realized: "My mom is beautiful."

It was a really awesome realization because my whole life I had been told I looked just like my mother. So voila! Obviously now I was beautiful, too. :)

Every time I think about the family I was born into, I am grateful for them, and for my mom especially. I hit the jackpot of families, I promise. My brother and I were loved and wanted and taught and disciplined. We were expected to grow up and be independent and competent, functioning members of society. Those expectations were a gift.

My mom's example was a gift as well. She was my Girl Scout leader for years. Now that I am an adult and a Cubmaster, I realize how much of a sacrifice that must have been, especially since she was freaking awesome. My standards for my kids' scouting experiences are high indeed because their experiences must measure up to what my mom provided for me. It's not often we get that. And when we do, I am thankful for my mom all over again.

Mom was the homeroom mom--over and over again. She encouraged me to be smart, and taught me that I could solve problems and do whatever I needed to do. She taught me that I had immense value besides what other people thought of me. She taught me that family matters. She taught me that the past matters. She taught me that the future matters.

When I was 16, she put me on a plane to the crumbling USSR for three weeks, in the days when there was no internet or texting or cheap foreign phone calls, so that I could have a life experience.

When I was a few days shy of 18, she left me at college three hours away, so that I could have a life experience. And she sent me chocolate while I was away. Hello? True love!!!

When I was 20, she watched me get married very young and start having babies, because she had taught me to lead my own life and to have my own life experiences...even though I'm pretty sure she thought I had lost my every-lovin' mind. And she celebrated with us.

Now if you know me or Mom, you probably know that sometimes our relationship can be strained. We have some vastly differing viewpoints on life, and we have different types of personalities. Sometimes little memes go around Facebook that say something like, "If I turn out to be half the mother my own mom was, I'll be lucky." I usually roll my eyes, something I started perfecting before I became a teenager and which I haven't given up yet, and sniff to myself, "Whatever! Who wants to live in a perfectly organized and clean house with two reasonably well-behaved children, a successful home business, and a husband who works hard and adores you?"

Yeah, do you see my problem here?

High standards.

Because my mom is awesome. When she was my whole world, she was strong and confident and loving and farsighted enough to sacrifice what she may have needed or wanted personally for what I would need in the future. See? Awesome! 

So...because eye-rolling at other people's expense usually leads to an eye-opening dose of humility is a true story: If I turn out to be half the mother my own mom was, my kids and I will be lucky indeed.

I love you, Mom. I wish my tween and teen-aged brain hadn't wasted so much time not appreciating you enough. You are my example every day, and I'm so thankful for that.

This is my mom, Patricia. Isn't she beautiful!?

Still Thanksgiving Here

I'm cleaning off my desk (again, sigh), and found Sam and Sariah's masterpieces from Thanksgiving, and now they will be documented here forever, haha. I love these two little ones!

by Sam

by Sam

by Sariah

by Sariah