Summer Fun

This is how the boys entertained themselves while the girls were gone. They even filled most of those water balloons themselves. It was great fun watching everything pop up and down on the trampoline.




And here's Elisabeth at her birthday party (finally! It was only a month after the fact!). And it's the totally cool birthday candle.



Meanwhile, Caleb has earned his Summer Reading medallion--100 books! Needless to say, all of the other children are now extremely motivated to finish their reading. I know that Rex and Hannah have completed their lists, and Elisabeth is closing in. Sariah, whose list was shortest of all, is of course nowhere near finishing, but only because she's entirely dependent on her flaky mother to finish it off. At least we're halfway done. Only 30 books to go. One for every day. That's not too bad.

A Whole New World

Sariah's just been keeping us on our toes this week.


First it was the spoon--"I can do it myself!"


Then it was learning how to climb anything and everything.



And then Mom decided Baby Girl needs to be able to see out from under her bangs, like so.

This and That

Alas, my ride lasted only until Sunday afternoon when Bob had to return it. But it sure was fun. Not really a family friendly vehicle. When the boys and I stopped at Sonic on Friday afternoon, the carhop said, "Wow, you sure are brave bringing all that ice cream into that car!" It was true. And by the way, the boys did just fine.

On Friday night, Hannah got her hair chopped off. Actually, sawed off. She had exactly 10 inches to donate to Locks of Love, and they put it all into a ponytail, or in Hannah's case, segments of ponytails, and sawed off the longest parts that way. Even her segments were thicker than all of my hair put together will ever be. Sigh.

We all spoke in church on Sunday, everybody but Sariah. The kids did great jobs (even if Rex was more focused on the way the pulpit can go up and down)! I was so proud of them. We spoke on Sabbath day observance. Ironic really, given that Bob typically travels on Sundays for his job. It's ok. Bob and I both learned a great deal from our research. We know that this is the job he's supposed to have at this time, so we will keep on muddling through the best we can. And our kids, who wrote the major parts of their own talks, really know that Sunday is a family day, and that is good.

Kudos to Caleb--he's within 5 books of reaching his summer reading goal of 100 books. He'll actually be the first one to get his medal. The two of us read about 8 books together last night before bed, and then he took 6 more books to bed to read on his own. That's pretty impressive for a little boy who stubbornly declares that he has no desire to read. Gasp!--yes, that's a hard one for Mom to swallow.

Incidentally, Caleb had his well child appointment yesterday morning (yes, we are finally all caught up on well childs). He is 52 inches tall. That makes him 1.5 inches shorter than Hannah. Those three oldest kids have two years between each of them, but only 1.5 inches. Hannah, you need to grow!

And saddest news of all: my girls have run away from home this week to their grandma's. I even drove them halfway there, considerate mom that I am. We all just barely survived the 80-mile air-conditionless journey. The boys and Sariah and I even less barely survived the return journey. It's a bummer when the baby doesn't like to have the wind on her face, so you roll the windows up, and then you can't drown out the backseat boy battles.

While two kids less means a lot less work for Mom, it's still the 2 most self-sufficient of my crew. (And the 2 most likely to be nice to Mom). It's a sad week. But have no fear, I foresee all sorts of bugs, animals, and science experiments lurking in my very near future. I just can't wait to get started.

I Got a New Ride!

Like it?






It's my new ride. Ok, for the weekend. No, Mom, it's not my permanent new car. But that's ok; it's been fun. Bob got a free rental for the weekend, and he knows that I secretly covet flashier cars than the family-friendly vehicles we currently own. I wouldn't have included these photos, courtesy of Caleb, on my blog, except that Rex's reaction was too priceless not to share. He would make his granddad proud. He asked to go outside and climb the tree, but almost immediately he came running back in. "Mom, Mom! There's one cool dude out on driveway!" I thought that there was some strange guy outside at first, and then I teared up. At last, one of my kids appreciates a good car when he sees it.

My brother might be proud, too. But not really, because he doesn't approve of Fords.

I would take a full-size picture of the car this morning because that's what I intended for Caleb to take, but one, his pictures reflect a more male viewpoint, kinda like a car magazine, and two, as of 4 a.m. this morning, there might be hail damage on the car now, and I don't really want to think about that.

But Caleb and Junebug and I had fun while it was storming. Caleb and I listened to the angels moving around their furniture for awhile, as my grandma would have said, and when it started hailing, I had to go look at it. Then I had to have a piece of it for Caleb to look at. You would have thought I was going into Armageddon by the look on those two's faces when I dashed out the front door in my skivvies. And their relief when I made it back in with the marble-sized chunk was tangible.

After that, I turned the alarm clock off, and Caleb went back to sleep, and just when I was dropping off to sleep again, my freaky weird stereo started playing "Flight of the Bumblebee" on CD. Random. It was 5:22. Now you know why I'm posting so early.

What a Day!

For your reading entertainment, I give you this presentation of Cooking in the Castle,
with Stacy, Lena, Miranda, and Sally. I gave them about 12 hours over the last 2 days with their Easy Bake Ovens, and it eventually turned into this hilarious TV show. I think I need to restock my pantry. I've mopped my floor once, but it might need another round of soap.

And to prove my certifiable lunacy, I agreed to this bright idea on the same day I decided to recommit myself to Weight Watchers. Brainy, eh? Yesterday wasn't so bad ... because they mostly burnt everything they cooked. Today, their skill kicked in, and yummy aromas filled my house. Yes, those cookies may not look as appetizing as some (in fact, if you look closely, those grey ones resemble owl pellets), but I closed my eyes, and taste-tested, and they were pretty darn good, especially given that I offered no guidance whatsoever.

After I condemned the kitchen and they "cleaned up" (ROTFL), Caleb and I crouched down on the floor with his entire Lego collection and recreated this totally cool spaceship from Star Wars. No, not from scratch; of course we used the destructions! I'm a mom, not an architect. Not even with Legos. In fact if it had been my Lego creation, it would have never gotten off the ground because we couldn't find all the exact pieces, so we made substitutions and the colors on the underside are off.


I am not a control freak. Doesn't my magnanimity with the girls prove that? Who cares that I wouldn't let them finish cleaning up because ... well, because I needed to do it. I am not a control freak!

And yes, that is the same shirt he had on yesterday. I'm not cheating on the pictures (today, anyway). I just don't launder my kids' clothes. I can't remember how many times I told him to change it. A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do, apparently, and far be it from his nosy, interfering mom to get in the way.

Medusa Man and Prayer Girl

This was supposed to be a picture of Caleb's dandy new haircut, which was accomplished in less than 10 minutes, by the way. But Caleb has been feeling ... oppositional (diplomatically speaking) ... today, so he had to break the mold somehow. I personally prefer the haircut rather than the snake--there's something so satisfying about running your hand over freshly buzzed hair, and something so infinitely unsatisfying in rubber snakes, or any kind of snake for that matter. Makes my toes curl just thinking about it.














And here we have Sariah, whom we finally captured walking on camera ... sort of. You have to love that wide-legged stance and the thrown back shoulders and especially that beautiful too-cute belly.

Then we said, "Sariah, it's time for prayer."
She was so proud of herself, and of course we all clapped, which delighted her even more, so she clapped for herself so enthusiastically that down she went. Kerploppus!

There's supposed to be a kerploppus picture, but she was too quick getting back up and clapping for herself again.

It's All about Elisabeth

I had big plans for myself today. They even included hiring a babysitter. Due to delays at the doctor's office early this morning, my plans altered slightly. But you know what? They were better that way.

After I took Elisabeth to her well child appointment, where we confirmed that she is only 3/4 inch shorter than her sister, we went to lunch with a friend, and then we were off to the salon to get my . . . er, our . . . hair done. On the way in, I asked Elisabeth, "So, can we cut your hair off today?" and she replied quite gamely, "Okay!" And now you've seen the results; it is hard to tell from the pics that it is layered fashionably. She appears to be quite pleased with it, and Mom was pleased with the stylist who told Elisabeth, "You have beautiful hair; don't ever, ever color it!" After the salon, it was Sonic, and then on to my other errands.

It was supposed to be a day to myself, but I really, really enjoyed the time with Elisabeth. She's so bright and fun and amazing and beautiful.

Gorgeous Girls!

We have been waiting and waiting for the inevitable to happen.... Hannah went to her well-child appointment today, and measured 53.5 inches tall. That makes her, as you can see, less than an inch taller than Elisabeth ... and Elisabeth says Hannah tried to make her lose her balance in this picture, which would make her appear shorter. Ah, sisterly love, support and encouragement for one another! Bob even says that when he takes the girls places, people have asked if they are twins. I halfway feel sorry for Hannah, but she seems to take it all in stride with a good-natured laugh. I guess she's not the shortest 11-year-old in the world--she still made it all the way up to the 13th percentile for height!

Meanwhile, I should rest up for the night, since I will spend all day tomorrow trying (and failing) to atone for making Hannah get shots at her appointment today. I told her they were protecting her from lots of nasty illnesses that could otherwise make her die, and I'm kind of partial to her being, you know, alive, but this failed to impress her much. Go figure. And the nurse told her that it was probably time for her mom to get a new tetanus shot, too, and wasn't I going to go do that soon? Thanks, ever so much.

My Apologies....

Ok, so since I wrote about The Mystery of the Red U-n-d-e-r-w-e-a-r, Net Nanny makes me put a password in to access my blog because of my reference to Intimate Apparel. I should probably spell that out, too, now that I think about it. Sorry if I've inconvenienced anyone else. That nasty Tracy, making you all read her lewd blog.

Here is what the boys spent their Saturday afternoon doing. Some video-game thing. I'm telling you, if you blow it up, they will come.
But it's not just about boys. It's about girls, too. Look here--it's the future of IT. Bob is so proud.
Rex's accomplishment for this week was climbing trees. Once I investigated, however, I learned that this is not really a new accomplishment. It's just that Mom has become aware of this accomplishment. No, I didn't ask how long this has been possible. I prefer to believe that he's just been climbing the redbud tree and not this huge silver maple on a regular basis. Denial can be a lovely thing sometimes.
And MY FAVORITE NEWS OF ALL FOR THE DAY?!?!?!? Yes, at long last, I was sustained to a new calling today at church. I've been the Relief Society secretary for almost 3 years, and when they called a new Relief Society President a month or two back, they failed to release me from being the secretary. My service as RS secretary has had many high points, and I have learned much. But it felt like it was dragging on forever. I don't know how bishops and stake presidents serve for so many years at a time. Anyhow, the poor Bishop probably didn't know what to make of me when I actually applauded his extension of my call to nursery. I've never been so thrilled to get a calling. Snack time and toys, here I come!

Sariah's Walking!!

But there are no pictures of it, because she's such a ham that whenever anybody pays too much attention to her she has to stop and clap and smile and be happy. She's a character. Of course, she took her first long stretch of steps while Mommy and Daddy were on a date, and Nanna was so thrilled to witness the miraculous event that she called us at Ted's.

Ted's is a Mexican restaurant that we've waited a long time to have here in town. It's delicious. They make the best handmade flour tortillas. Yum! Their sopapillas are pretty good, too. I'm still trying to make mine turn out that well. Oh, and the best part was when we were leaving. I asked for a box to take the remainder of our tortillas home in because they were so yummy, and the manager came back with a box with more fresh tortillas inside. It made my whole day. There are still nice people in the world (well, and he guaranteed himself a return customer, but that's entirely beside the point). Now I just have to guard my tortillas from the ravenous hordes at home until lunch time tomorrow, because I shamelessly stuffed myself so full that that's the next time I will eat. I'm telling you, it's pretty darn good. My husband knows how to pick a good date.

I went to the temple last night. It was our ward's night to clean, and I got my two favorite jobs ever: dusting the tops of the picture frames and door jambs, and polishing all the room name plates. I felt bad for the people mopping . . . but not really bad enough to trade them jobs. I probably need to work on that attitude. In the meantime, I did really enjoy attending the temple. It really helps me to sort out all the thoughts churning through my head, and figure out what my priorities are.

Slave Driver, Part 2

Didn't I say there would be more?

Is it only 1:05?! Are there still 10 more hours in this day!?

The kids've been working and cleaning so hard today. I have sparkling toilets and windows and so-clean-you-can-eat-off-them tile floors and freshly laundered clothes. Oh, and extra bonus, you don't have to carve a path through the living room or the boys' bedroom. Yep, we're on a roll. Bob won't know whose house he's come home to tonight.

Hannah has been diligently organizing her closet, bookshelves, her entire room. I think she's used an entire can of Pledge. She said to me, "Mom, I love organizing things." I said, "Well, you're truly your grandmother's grandchild then." This made her happy, and she grinned. "Mom," she continued, "I just don't like putting things away." Said I, "Oh, well then that makes you my kid for sure!" This made her grin even bigger.

I am a little afraid of Elisabeth when she's actually a teenager. "This is the worst day of my life, of my whole entire life!" she shrieks. And, "You're the meanest mom ever!" This was in a subtle and subversive, barely audible undertone. It has even been reported to me that she called me ... dare I say the s-word? ... stupid. But I couldn't verify that without potentially shrieking back at her, so I've gone deaf (kinda like my own parents). And here's the funny part, after this whole ... ah, incident, she turned around and played angelically with Sariah. Sariah loves the faces Elisabeth makes at her, and how Elisabeth laughs, and how she shrieks, and how she plays. It's great fun watching them together.

And just so you know that I am an Equal Opportunity Slavedriver, I've been working just as hard. Well, harder I think, because you kinda have to crack the whip a few times to make the rest of 'em motivated to work while I'm trying to get my own work done, too. Anyhow, isn't it funny how, as moms, we have to make more work for ourselves? I discovered my mop irrevocably broken this morning, and didn't want to go buy a new one, so I mopped the old-fashioned Cinderella way, on my hands and knees using a rag. Boy, my baseboards are dirty, and the paneling in the dining area. I actually caught myself thinking, "Wow, if I cleaned the floors this way every time, my house would be so clean! What a good idea!"

A good idea?

That's why I don't clean very often. Too many bright ideas.

Snapshots

While Rex was getting dressed this morning--
Mom: "Is that clean underwear?"
Rex: "No. ... You know how I know? I've been wearing it for 10 days."
A brief pause.
Rex: "I should get some new ones, huh?"
Mom: "Yeah, maybe."

While Hannah was showering this morning, I heard the hair dryer on in the locked bathroom. Somewhat fearfully, I sprinted to the bathroom, briefly uttering up my petition that my oldest child was not even now in the process of electrocuting herself (see? those mother fears can eat you alive!). This fear left my head as she unlocked the door. The bathroom was full of steam and the shower was indeed still running. Her hair was damp (as opposed to freshly washed and wet), and she was drying it. I asked suspiciously, "Have you showered yet?" "Oh, yes!" "Are ya sure about that?" "Wellllllllll..." she says.

We are absolutely the epitome of cleanliness, let me tell you.

We walked to lunch at the elementary school today. Rex made quite a sight in the following get-up:



The bike riders rode more miles than we walkers tallied up.



But we had us another fine nature walk. Rex and I spied this scissor-tailed flycatcher along the way. It's the state bird of Oklahoma so we were quite proud of ourselves.



And in the drainage ditch, we found not only those pretty big fish, but also pretty little fish, bright green dragonflies, and a turtle. See? We've got nature.

And then Rex pronounced that we had found The Mystery of the Lost Sandal and The Mystery of the Red Undies (Eeeeeeewwwwww!!) (Giggle, giggle). You must say it, just so. Right there in the school parking lot. I love nature walks.

Of course, it took us all evening to cool off. We had fruit chillers and ice water and milk and sprinklers and pools and ice cream sandwiches. I liked Rex's way best.

Fear, Anyone?

We have fears aplenty around here. I would be more than happy to give some away.

The 1 year old fears: being away from Mommy (and she only exhibits this when she's tired), dogs that approach her (but they're ok, if it's her idea), missing out on anything.

The 5 year old fears: nothing, nothing, and nothing (is that just Rex?).

The older girl fears: their deepest, darkest, innermost secrets revealed; their parents being nerds or worse, dorks.

Then there are the 7 year old fears: thunder, lightning, the dark, stangers, bad men with guns, the house being unlocked, tornados, Sunday School, his teacher, his mom, his dad, getting down from trees, rain that could potentially turn into tornados, wind, mysterious letters, being made fun of, being laughed at, tornados, moonless nights, nights with full moons, vampires, rattlesnakes, tornados. I detect a pattern here.

You name it we've seen it. And we've seen it. And we've seen it.

And then there are those terrible mother fears. You know them, moms. When your son comes to you with carpet burn on his belly because he and his brother have been dragging each other across the living room in fits of giggles, and you just know that his intestines are going to uncoil out of his belly and he'll bleed out in the middle of the kitchen floor before you can even dial 911. You laugh, but I know you know what I'm talking about. It's like when you become a mother you suddenly have the most creative imagination on the planet. It's the imagination you always wished you had when you were playing pretend with your childhood chums. They do say to be careful what you wish for.

But never fear! The rescue squad is here:

And it's even posed strikingly, like a cowboy hero or a white knight or ... or a swimsuit model or something. JSYK, I snapped this pic 3 times, and every time, she threw up her arm. Now that I think about it, she must still be doing the Itsy Bitsy Spider (while trying to maintain her precarious balance, like Godzilla atop a tank). It might be time for a new song.

Grin and Bear It

See this big, beautiful grin, pizza sauce and all? It's worth a million bucks. Ok, well maybe not a million . . . yet. When the orthodontist gets done with it, it ought to be worth a million. They sit you down so nicely, and they say, here's what's wrong, here's what we want to do, here's how much it costs, and after they revive you and pick you up off the floor, then they say, "Oh, but look--your dental insurance covers half of that! Isn't that so nice?" It was still more than my house payment and my car payment put together.

Yes, we've entered the wide, wide world of orthodontia. Actually, we entered the fray several years ago, but I had (somewhat naively) hoped that because Hannah sucked her thumb and none of the rest of the children did, we might escape relatively unscathed. Yeah, that's nice. I think we could spend enough at the orthodontist this year to deduct our medical expenses -- and that's not counting Sariah's little surgeries or all the other things that come up.

And all for nice teeth. Hmm.

But now I'll take a minute to count my many blessings. For example, today my friend watched all 5 of my kids for free while her son was running away and my kids were shooting rockets. See what good friends I have? And in the blink of an eye I've been reconnected with all sorts of fun friends. I love that. It's one of the blessings of the internet.

And the pineapple is still intact for Bob when he gets home from the East Coast. It smells so yummy. It might not make it another day. But have no fear, the dishes and the laundry will definitely wait.

Just kidding.

Maybe.

Aloha!

Why the pineapple? Some friends recently returned from Hawaii, and they delivered us this yummy treat tonight. Bob says he really likes fresh pineapple, so I thought I would show it to him. Maybe it will be here when he gets home, and maybe it won't. With 5 hungry kids in the house, I can't really guarantee anything. And did I mention that the basket is lined with Aloha Hershey Kisses? They're made with cocoa and macadamia nuts solely from the Hawaiian islands, and they're really yummy. Fortunately for you Bob, the kids didn't really approve of the macadamias in the middle.

And now I present to you the elusive and highly secretive mystery prize of ... Hannah! She even posed for this picture. I know, it's nothing short of miraculous. Yep, now parts of her braces are pink. They were blue. Wonder what color they'll be next?

Contrary to popular belief, I do listen to your comments (even those not posted here), and so I am forced to modify my last post as follows to more accurately portray our outing: on Friday night, my Prince Charming and I spent a fabulous and fun-filled evening together. First, we attended the local theater for a smashing presentation of What Goes on in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Romantically, we held hands and talked and sent expensive text messages to our friends. We had a grand time laughing together. Afterwards, we went to an exotic foreign restaurant where we ate foods that I can't pronounce, but which were savory and appetite pleasing, including those donut-thingies.

Of course, I still miss those little paper placemats that show the Chinese zodiac. I guess our favorite Chinese restaurant from college in moving up in the world. You know which placemats I'm talking about--the ones that say that Bob was born in the Year of the Rat, nevermind that I was born in the Year of the Rabbit. I would ask what year my dear readers were born in, but I can pretty much tell that you are either a rat or a rabbit (Bob, Tiffany, Elisabeth). What I don't get is how a Rat and a Rabbit can produce: 1 Ox, 1 Rabbit, 1 Snake, 1 Horse, and 1 Pig. Now that's some interesting biology. But then again, this Rabbit had a Snake for a brother, and we were born to a Rat and an Ox. And Bob the Rat was born to a Dragon and a Snake. Complicated.

You know what else I don't get? If I'm a meek, timid, soft & fuzzy little rabbit in this zodiac, how did I get to be a bold, brave, and ferocious lion in the other one? Food for thought, that.

And last but not least, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!! to all the fathers in our lives. We spoiled our Daddy today. We celebrated by making him bake cinnamon rolls, empty the dishwasher, and leave for work. We love our Daddy. I'm sure you could tell. Someday, I'm going to get my act together and have a real Father's Day celebration so that he can really tell how much we appreciate him.

And the Winner Is...

I don't know. Y'all ... that would be Christy and Tiffany, my true friends ... picked my two faves -- #4 and #6. And the rest of my family were pretty evenly split between those 2 as well.

I went on a date tonight. We caught a movie at the dollar theater, which I suppose explains the tear in the movie screen right down the middle, and had Chinese food afterwards, because I've been craving it. I love those really-bad-for-you sugar-coated fry bread thingies. Mm-mmm. Not a terribly novel date, but compared to our usual Friday night routine, which includes Braum's and Netflix, this was pretty exotic. And cheap compared to the babysitter.

Caleb learned how to mow the lawn this morning. Because he tried to throw large breakable objects at his bedroom window last night. He worked hard, really hard, and you know what? He behaved a lot better this afternoon. Good thing, because I don't really want to know what came after mowing the lawn. We don't exactly have a small yard. But guess what else? Afterwards, Daddy had to take a nap. And Caleb didn't. I guess that's the difference between 36 and 7. How depressing.

Well, it's thundering, and you know what that means.... Soon, I will be accompanied by a dog and one young boy.

Future Models?

Ok, so I've decided to do something completely out of character. I want to enter my kids' photos in a contest. I know, totally out of character, but fun. I've spent my afternoon snapping pics of Rex and Sariah (the contest is only for kids up thru age 6). I had planned to feature Hannah in my post today, because she hasn't been in for awhile, but she hasn't been in for awhile because she won't allow herself to be photographed.

The contest rules say: "JUDGING: Visitors to the Contest website will be invited to make one recommendation per day during the Contest period for the entry the visitor feels should be featured on the cover of Parents magazine. Visitor recommendations will not be used as criteria in the judging of entries in any round. There will be three rounds of judging. In the first round, on or about July 1, 2008, twenty (20) semi-finalist entries will be selected from among all eligible entries by qualified judges appointed by Sponsor based on overall appearance of the child as shown in the photo(s) (34%), personality of child as expressed through the photo(s) (33%) and quality of photo(s) (33%)."

So, based on that, what photo of Rex, the King of Character, should I use? Your votes in the comments section, please! I took about 20 photos in 5 minutes and they were all cute, because as always, he just reeks of personality.

#1:
#2:
#3:
#4:












#5:
#6:












#7:












I took even more pictures of Sariah, who also has tons of personality, but she was too busy trying to micro-manage my picture taking to really get any effective pictures (like I said, technology control issues, have I mentioned Sariah and my phone lately? I have to hide it from her). Plus, she was quite disturbed by the feel of that prickly grass on her little tush and legs and feet. But we did manage to catch this one "Out came the sun" picture that I just love.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Are you ready to sing the Itsy Bisty Spider? Please forgive my mommy's pictures. She was trying really hard to do the movements and take pictures at the same time. It probably wasn't a very bright idea.



The Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the water spout. See my spider crawling up my arm?



Down came the rain and washed the spider out. I usually just throw my arms all over the place for this part because it's so much fun!



Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. Mommy always laughs at this point. She says I look like I'm losing my mind or something, but you have to move with the music or it's just not the same.



And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again. Mommy wanted me to do the spider again, but she didn't consult with me about this first. What I really wanted to do was take pictures of Mommy doing the Itsy Bitsy Spider. She wouldn't let me, though. I wonder why. Oh well, I'll just pose really pretty because everybody loves me.



Maybe Mommy will figure out how to take a video clip with the camera next time. Or maybe I'll figure it out and show her how.

Slave Driver, Part 1 (Because you know we'll make it to at least Part 500)

Yes, it was another dreadful day. I made the children get up by 8:30. Early, I know. Then they had to do terrible and unnecessary chores like showering and brushing their teeth. And then when they could stand no more, I made them walk all the way to the nearest elementary school for a free lunch. I've measured--it's less than a mile! Oh, there was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Why didn't I just ask Caleb to cut off his left leg? That surely would have been easier than using our legs, heaven forbid. But on the way, Elisabeth discovered huge fish in a drainage ditch (what do they do when the ditch dries up anyway? seriously, it was like 4 inches of water), and Hannah identified a dead mole (ick!!!!), and Rex observed, "Look, Mom, look! It's a dead water bottle!" Yep, we had us a fine, fine nature walk today. And then we came home--yes, we trudged all the way back, even past the dead water bottle--and got the Slip-n-Slide out. Who knew that it could be so much fun? For 5 minutes. Then I was called upon to negotiate world peace. No Nobel Prizes for me in the near future, by the way. Still working on the pics of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Daddy got to see part of it tonight via webcam, but Sariah was much more interested in playing with the mouse. I still haven't fixed my email from her last hands-on technology exploratory activity. That girl has some serious technology control issues (first the camera, now the computer, what next, do I really want to know?).

Is This Day Over Yet? Please?

There are no pictures to describe this day.

I haven't nursed my baby in 48 hours.
I haven't picked a single fingernail or toenail in 60 hours.
It rained, and I mean it poured, for about 7 hours and kept sprinkling for 2 more hours after that.
My dog's afraid of thunder. So's Caleb. And I don't know who's worse about following me around and dogging my steps.
I took 5 kids--my 5 kids, just so you understand the nature of what I'm about to say--to lunch at the school, the library, a doctor's appointment (can they make those rooms any smaller?), Sam's for the prescription (and the sample ladies), home for all of 30 minutes, then to the Y for swim team practice, swimming, and Mommy's moment of sanity (running like a gerbil on an elliptical trainer).
We should all be worn out.
I can hear fighting jedi sounds emitting from the boys' bedroom.
And the girls only turned their lights out because I threatened to turn them into toads.

I haven't had chocolate in . . . well, nevermind how long.

I need chocolate.

I had a Swiss Miss 98% fat free "fudge-icle," as Elisabeth still calls them, with the kids after supper. But that's really not the same thing as chocolate.

Caleb visited his reading teacher this morning and afterwards proclaimed, "I like going to reading now, because I get popsicles, and I get to play with Uncle Muncle." Whatever it takes, I suppose. And he doesn't like swimming, because afterwards his tummy hurts . . . even though it doesn't actually start hurting until we walk out to the car and Mom says that we aren't buying fast food for dinner.

It was Elisabeth's doctor appointment today, by the way. She started telling me yesterday that her ear hurt, so I told her to go to sleep and if it still hurt in the morning, I would figure out what to do then. I was so sure I wouldn't have any figuring to do. Now she's taking an antibiotic--and milking it for all it's worth.

Sariah's accomplishment for the week is "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." We are trying to capture the whole thing on camera, but she still thinks she needs to take the pictures. She's hilarious to watch, especially when she does the "Out comes the sun" part. I think her favorite part, though, is that just as soon as she gets out her spider fingers, she has an instantaneous and enthusiastic 5-person chorus of music-makers solely for her benefit.

Rex is reading books on the -at family of words. He's really quite good. And I take all the glory for it because at last I've taught one of my children to read. Of course, Daddy has suspected for months that Rex knows more than he lets on, and I suspect that Daddy's right, but since we can't actually prove anything . . . I'll just go ahead and take the credit. I need the self-esteem boost.

Hannah told someone today that she's ready for summer vacation to be over. It's boring and she needs work to do. She's her father's child for sure, because lack of work has never stopped me from laying around counting the lint between my toes.

Going to find more chocolate now.

Sunday Sweeties

This pic is for my friend who gave Sariah this too-cute dress. Poor Sariah . . . Mommy made her wear bibs all day long to preserve the dress's beautifulness. But she looked so cute!!! We tried to get a picture of her standing up but she was much too interested in making it to the camera so she could take the pictures. Like the basketball in the background? It's so . . . girlie to go with the dress.

It was the perfect dress for our first day of Sunday afternoon meetings. Yes, we're now on the dreaded 1-4 schedule. That's my nap time. I'm going to have to get me a primary calling so I can have wiggle time to keep me awake.

Ok, now onward to everything else. I had too many good pictures to choose from today, so the grandmas and grandpas will be pleased, I think.

Here comes Caleb the Reader. This is about as enthusiastic as he gets about reading. We're hoping to influence that for the better this summer. He's really a much better reader than he gives himself credit for. And get a load of the book he was reading: Rex. It's a big hit around here. I wonder why.


I include the following picture because I love it so much. Sariah was right where she wanted to be: in the center of our universe.

Saturday Snippets

It's the beautiful birthday girl! Isn't she fabulous? This is after the water park expedition. She and Hannah came back unscathed by the sun. Their Dad is another story entirely. I've never seen him quite so crisped. In any case, after they got back, we ate Elisabeth's favorite for dinner -- double pepperoni bubble pizza, and then she opened her presents. She got a lot, but we still didn't spend as much on her as on Hannah's new bike. Elisabeth was most pleased with the brown argyle messenger bag and her 3rd Webkinz pet, a fluffy persian cat, appropriately christened Cotton Candy. The fake American Girl doll clothes and cutesy quiz book also garnered praise. "This is the best birthday ever," she says. I think that's our only parental triumph this week.

Meanwhile, I spent the morning shamelessly spoiling myself with a heavenly pedicure and manicure. The woman was quite apalled that I wouldn't buy tips for my nails . . . not because I was withholding money from her, but because I had no nails on fingers or toes to even file down (bad nail habit? who, me?). In any case, now all my nails are a nice summery berry color, and I feel quite beautiful.

Rex's birth family also came to visit today. They brought the kids a slip-n-slide, and I'm actually very excited, because they need a nice distraction from the mud pit out in back where the trampoline used to stand until we moved it after the neighbor girl broke her arm and nearly her head on the side of the house. Makes you feel safe about leaving your kids here, eh?

Sariah's getting closer to walking independently. She's much braver about letting go of things and taking steps . . . so long as it's entirely her own idea. No, I have no idea where that stubborn streak comes from. Surely not Bob's side of the family.

Safety Town Graduate #4

I'm so proud of my fourth safety town graduate. And he learned how to ride his bike in the last month or so. Doesn't he look great? Safety Town is a week-long deal run by the local police department and mall; children learn about traffic laws and practice being cyclists and pedestrians all in a tiny pseudo-town complete with real traffic signs and even a railroad crossing. It's pretty cool.

In the mean time, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELISABETH!!!!! To celebrate, Daddy took the girls to the water park up in the city. They have yet to return, but I'm sure they'll come back waterlogged, sunburned, and worn out. Maybe she'll be too tired to eat cake and ice cream and open her presents.

Yeah, right.



Of course, the boys and the baby had naps this afternoon, so they'll probably be up into the wee hours of the morning. Mommy had a nap, too, but that really doesn't prevent me from falling asleep when my head hits the pillow (mother of 5 thing, I guess).