Thursday, March 10, 2011

Break Up

Dear Peanut Butter,

That's it!  We're through.  I'm breaking up with you.  In the words of those great philosophers, Rascal Flatts, "I don't wanna see you anymore/I'm just not that strong/I love it when you're here/But I'm better when you're gone/Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease release me!"  You are very, very bad for me, and we can't keep going this way.  I must give you up entirely or face my certain doom.  I made it all day yesterday without you.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  Even when I was driven to stress eating (yes, I'm an emotional eater) by my 3-year-old who refused to go to bed last night and I couldn't resist the sugar anymore, I chose Lemon Chalet Cremes (I don't even want to know what's in those, but it's not my beloved PB) instead of Tagalongs which are filled with nothing but you.  And I survived.  I can do this.  Please don't take it personally.  We're just not right for each other.  Don't call me.  Don't wait.  I can't come back any time soon.  This is it.  This is good-bye.

Love,
Me

4 comments:

  1. Sounds like youi have been practicing.

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  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    I'm so sorry to hear that you have ended your relationship with Peanut Butter. But secretly I am very happy because that just means there will be more Peanut Butter around for me to love on. This is a good thing because I just discovered the joy of fluffernutter sandwiches and have eaten one every day for the last week. Carry on with your Peanut Butter shunning ways!

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  3. you are so hilarious!!! I'm actually laughing out loud as I read this because I've had that same conversation in my own head. PB is a REAL bad idea for me since I am allergic, but those Tagalongs are some kind of irresistible force to fight. Sometimes I think I should have one crazy PB-fest, but I don't have a free 24 hours to deal with the aftermath.
    Stay strong!

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