On Pedophiles and Prayer

We have recently fielded several questions from people here and in Oklahoma about certain events that occurred right after we moved to Georgia.  I have previously debated the wisdom of posting this story.  However, it is a record of our family history, and more importantly, a record of Heavenly Father's watch care for us, and how He answers our prayers in the way that is best for us.

When we moved into our new ward (congregation) at church, we were pleasantly surprised to learn that another family from Oklahoma had moved in just a few weeks before.  They were getting baptized our first Sunday in town.  After years of living in a ward where college families moved in and out pretty regularly, we had learned that the quickest way to get involved in your new church family is to ... well, get involved.  So we attended this family's baptisms.  We discovered they were from Edmond, about 45 minutes to an hour from Norman.  Although, we didn't know this family in OK, it was nice just knowing someone around who would know what the Warren Theater is, what "Don't Edmond my Norman" means, and that when the tornado sirens go off, you are, of course, supposed to run outside and check the sky.

As if those coincidences weren't enough, this family was renting the house next door to the house we were trying to buy.  They had as many kids as we did, and their two daughters were the exact ages of our older girls.  We really looked forward to getting to know them.  They seemed like good solid people.  The kids were kind and polite.  After coming over to help us move into our apartment, they came back to bring me cake and ice cream for my birthday after a long, physically straining, tearful day.  Their kindness made me cry more.

A few weeks went by, and then the sky crashed a little bit.

The father had been arrested and taken into custody here as a fugitive ... from Oklahoma, where he had run from his trial for the molestation of some girls, including his two daughters.  In his absence, the jury had convicted him on maybe 12 counts of molestation and sentenced him to something like 186 years in prison.

Along with the rest of our new ward, we found the news stunning, shocking.  We were disbelieving and felt betrayed.  And then: how did we not detect this crazy perv amidst us?  And how was he living with his wife, the mother of the children he had apparently abused, and those very children!?  Oh my heavens, we'd had the man in our house, talked to him at Wal-Mart, encouraged our children to befriend his children!!

But along with feeling sideswiped by the news, Bob and I felt an immense sense of relief and a sure knowledge that Heavenly Father was looking out for our family.  We had been trying to get that house--which would ultimately be next door to this family--since our initial visit here in June.  We had an offer in on it, and were hoping to be able to close on it as soon as possible so we wouldn't have to find a temporary living situation.  We actually tried to rent the house, but no matter what our real estate agent tried and no matter how fervent our prayers, no dice.  We ended up having to rent this apartment, which cost us a significant chunk of money, and will force us to move our belongings a second time, AND I have to walk our ridiculous dogs every freakin' day.

But you know what?  Heavenly Father listened to our prayers to get that house when we wanted it, and He said no, repeatedly and firmly.  Instead, He listened to our many prayers over the years to keep our children safe and to preserve them from danger.  Had we moved in next door to this family, our children would have played with their children, we would have developed a relationship of neighborly "trust," never knowing what really lurked there.

Many people here are curious as to whether we knew this family when we were in Oklahoma.  I think it's a valid concern ... I would want to know that, because I'd be wondering if we had kept such sickening and important information from the ward that had so lovingly and unquestioningly taken us all in.  The answer is: no, we didn't know.  We don't watch the local news very often, and weren't taking the paper as we got ready to move.  This family lived in Edmond, on the other side of OKC.  Oklahoma looks like a little nothing state in the middle of nowheresville, but there are a lot of people between Norman and Edmond.  It later emerged that this family weren't really new converts to our church, but had actually been members back in Oklahoma for a long time.  That's two stakes (groups of 8-11 LDS congregations, about 2000 members in each stake) away from our stake in Norman, which stretched south, not north.  We were as blindsided as everyone else here.

And for the people curious back home, this man is in custody again, and his family has moved away and we have not seen them since.  No dangers of living next door to that pedophile.  Although my heart still breaks for those kids.

That's a lot of really weird coincidences.  I don't believe in coincidences; I believe things happen for a reason.  I don't know why things happened the way they did in this case, and I probably don't want to know.  I hope our presence here made that guy really, really nervous; I hope that somehow it made his stay in Georgia--with those kids--shorter than it otherwise would have been.  And I do know that it has reminded US to be more cautious in our friendships and with our children.

I count my blessings every day, every single day we are in this crazy, yard-less, half-basement apartment with 6 kids and 2 dogs.  I count my blessings every single day that goes by that I don't own a home again.  Do I want out of this apartment?  Do I want to spread out and own my own home again?  Heck yeah!!  But I don't have those things because my Father in Heaven kept us safe in spite of ourselves.  I'll take that any and every day of the week if it means He put my children's safety before my uninformed desires.  When we prayed to Him with meekness, and included a sincere "not my will, but thine be done," He listened and prioritized our needs and desires.

I don't know why not all prayers end up like ours did.  My heart aches for those children, for surely they prayed for relief when they were at the mercy of someone else's agency.  All I know to do now is to include them in my prayers.  After all, they work, right?  Please include them in your prayers as well.