Totally Tracky ... and Troops

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Trouble's Coming ... er, Already Here

In addition to lining up items (anything will do, really) in aesthetically pleasing lines, Sam's favorite pastimes now include climbing up onto the kitchen table (it's bistro height--not good--now that he's fallen off the chairs 3 times, the chairs stay stacked on top of the table--pain in my neck, but at least not his) and sticking out his tongue. Oh, how I love this little boy!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Swimmer

Lizzi's done three swim meets now, and she improves in leaps and bounds every time. She knows which strokes she likes, and which ones she abhors (back, or butterfly? hard to tell which comes in lower). Look at those swimmer shoulders! And suddenly she is taller than Hannah. I think we all knew it would happen, but that still doesn't make Hannah happy about it (for now anyway). I've started helping out at the meets by being a timer. That's always fun. Meanwhile, check her out in action. And for the uninitiated, in that bottom pictures, Lizzi has purple sharpie all over her leg, because that's where they write their races, lanes & strokes, so they don't have to keep track of an eventually-soggy piece of paper. The things you learn because of your kids....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Tumbler

Sariah recently completed a tumbling class at the Y. It was sort of a love-hate relationship. She didn't want to go, but once she got there, it was fun. She loved her teachers and her friends.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

And Post-Hike Marshmallow Roast Pics

Oh my goodness, how I love my little ones. So many great pictures to choose from. The geese and the mutts are okay, but the kids ... the kids are so awesome!!

Be Still, My Soul

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;

With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast’ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord,

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697; trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813–1897

There's a great version of this on YouTube. The 2nd verse is a little different, and I prefer the verse above. But this is still a beautiful rendition by Libera, the boys choir from the UK.

This is one of the songs that, on a dark night, I found myself humming, not knowing the words. After I'd hummed it repeatedly for about an hour, it occurred to me to find my hymnbook and look up the lyrics. It really spoke to me about how my depression was my personal "cross of grief or pain," about how the Lord was my best and heavenly friend, and how the way out was through Christ--the thorny way just like the thorns He wore upon His head as He worked out the Atonement. It was the first time I understood that Christ's Atonement isn't just the cure for our sins but for all of the things that ail us.

The second verse was personal for me as well, since I was going through an intense period of asking Why? Why did my own brain and body betray me? Why was this my challenge in life? Why couldn't I just be happy like everybody else? The funny thing about my depression was that I knew I "should" be happy with my life, but I couldn't make myself do it. This verse taught me to trust that God has a plan for me, even though I don't know what it is, and someday "All now mysterious shall be bright at last." Sometimes trusting in God's plan means not getting hung up on the whys, and for me, this was one of those times. I don't ask why very often anymore. It just is. It's part of Heavenly Father's plan, and I trust that He is smarter than I.

The third verse seals that assurance for me. "When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,/Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored." Often with depression, it feels like disappointment, grief, fear, sorrow are larger than life, impossibly difficult to deal with, and happier emotions are dim and hard to imagine, let alone experience. I love that phrase--"love's purest joys restored"--I'm banking on that. I know that already many of my joys have been restored to me, but in the dark moments, this is a promise for the future that I hold onto.

Each person's cross is different. And sometimes the cross we have to bear at one time in our life is different than our cross at another time in life. What I know is that this hymn at one time taught me to hope, and it taught me that Heavenly Father sent His love to me when I needed it most. When I need to take a deep breath, and find that still, quiet place in my heart, this is my go-to song. Hope it brings you some peace, too.